The frost layered on the bare trees reveal the beauty of this season. That even with what seems unmoved or unchanged, even dormant is in fact a place that brings wonder. Awe. God certainly did a good thing creating this earth.
The boys are now back to their respective places. Back to their own routines. A new semester, they have their people and places that help with the return from home.
I am finding my people and new places to discover. It feels good to have more showing up in my life to fill in spaces left open.
There is a tenderness to this.
I still long for the comfort of what life felt like before. The sense that everything was okay if I was with my family. What looked out into the future held constants that brought comfort in the unknowns. Those are gone. Altered. This grief always surprises me.
Joyce Rupp said of this time, “as a journey, a movement toward a new, unknown destination. Midlife is a time during which things are shifting, moving, taking a different form or shape. The midlife journey is a gradual unfolding, a time of choices and decision-making, where the person we are choosing to be is eventually revealed to us. This coming home to our true Self is not something we can hurry or force to happen quickly.” (Dear Heart, Come Home, Pg 16).
I must go on if I want to be home again in myself. And with others.
I am glad for my dog. Not much uncertain about her. She wants breakfast by 6:30 a.m. and supper by 6:30 p.m. and lots of treats in between. Petting. Occasional walks. Naps. And, to stare at me in awe. At least I like to think so….
